Today's post is an extract from my unpublished book Light and Shadow at the Edge of Mind. I wrote this autobiography about four years ago, but when I tried to find a publisher I came to realise that autobiographies were really only marketable if you are famous, or having an intimate relationship with someone famous. Scarlett Johansson, if you are reading this I am willing to negotiate...
I believe that many indigenous peoples are correct in stating that the psyches of ancestors continue to influence the minds of people in the present. This occurs when an individual ancestor’s spirit continues to deliberately or unconsciously manipulate the psyche of individuals alive now. This may be malevolent in nature, but may also come in the form of guidance – which is essentially helpful. I have had powerful dreams where what I believe to be my on ancestors visited me.
About three years ago I found myself speaking to a woman in a dream-state interaction. The woman looked a little like my maternal grandmother,(deceased) ,but her ‘energy’ was much different – so I suspect it was not the actual spirit of my grandmother. We came together for a few moments. I asked her why I had such a natural inquisitive intelligence when nobody else in my family appeared to have this trait. She told me that she had been a linguist, and had written a book. There was the sense that there were writers and thinkers from her side of the family, going back a few generations. The most unusual thing about this dream was that the woman was not speaking English. I knew that she was not speaking English, but I could understand her nonetheless. She told me that she was speaking a Russian dialect. As I have mentioned, human beings are quite capable of telepathic communication in non-ordinary states of consciousness. This may transcend the need for a common language.
After this dream I became quite interested in my family’s past. That woman seemed to me to be Jewish. She did not say that she was Jewish. It was just a very strong sense. But my own family was not Jewish, as far as I knew, and nobody had ever mentioned Jews in my family. So the next time I met my mother ( a few months later) I asked her if we had any Russian ancestors. She did not know of any Russians, but she told me that on her mother’s side there were Polish people who were Jews. Poland borders directly with Russia – indeed their history is interwoven along with their borders. Polish and Belarusan are spoken in both countries. I have to say that I was not in the least bit surprised. I have come to trust certain ‘knowing’ that exists at a non-intellectual level. This kind of knowing is strongly associated with affectivity – feelings. Our education systems have effectively deleted these ways of knowing from existence. This is one of the great tragedies of the modern era.
However my mother knew nothing of any linguists. To this day I have no idea who that woman was, if indeed she was an ancestor.