Light, Ch. 33: The Appointment

Happy Chinese New Year! If you are wondering why there has not been a lot of blog activity here lately, it is just that my energy is focused on other things at present. There will be a few more posts coming up soon, though. Meanwhile here's a little more from my new novel, Light. Currently I am re-writing much of the novel, and restcruturing some of the plot. I won't be posting all of it online. The novel will be available in its entirety in e-book and softcover form in a few months time. As mentioned, this novel is semi-autobiographical, and this chapter reveals some of the kinds of healing methods I have experienced in my own journey. All characters are fictional, even the main character - although he's probably about 70% like me. I'm far too boring to write about! There's an extract from the chapter, below. Click on the heading to read the whole chapter.

Marcus

 Light, Ch. 33: The Appointment

Julie shifted again, and I saw my mother before me. I was a child again.

“You are not allowed to be angry. You are just a little boy. Get down!” Julie was standing over me, pushing me down from the shoulders.

I could feel them on me, the chains of imprisonment. From within my own darkness the rage erupted. I screamed, pounding the pillow with clenched fists. “I will kill you, you fucking bitch! Fuck you! Fuck you! I will kill you!” My face was red with rage, my arms pounding the pillow, rising and falling like a woodchopper felling a great tree.

Julie pushed down harder. “Stop this nonsense at once! You are not allowed to feel. You are just a worthless child. Sit down and shut up!”

I sobbed the tears of a helpless infant. “Why? Why are you doing this?”

“You are a boy. You must never become a man. Mean are dangerous, dirty, perverted, sexually deviant beasts. They must be destroyed, all of them.’

I could take no more. I sprung up, drawing myself to my full height, standing towering over Julie, over the darkness that was my mother. The words came out as a great roar of violence. “No, no, no! I will not shut up! I am a human being too! I am not your whipping boy! I am a man!” A great primal roar came busting through me, the rage rising from my lower back and thrusting skyward into the havens with my scream. I knew it was the rage of lifetimes of repression, of persecution, of playing the role of victim.

The torrent of energy evaporated from me, and I fell down to the floor, sobbing so deeply that for a time I lost all sense of who I was and of who was with me. Hot tears flowed down my ruddy cheeks, mucus running from my nose and down my shirt. I cried the tears of a thousand years. It was the first time I could remember truly crying since I was an infant. Slowly my awareness returned to my surroundings. I was exhausted, yet somehow liberated of the burden of a great weight.

Julie handed me my teddy bear. “Your little boy is yours now.”

"Busted": Chapter 23 of "Light"

Chapter 23: Busted  

This is the latest chapter of my online novel, "Light" (Click to read full chapter). Here's a short extract. 

Marcus

Amanda pushed the note towards my face. I could see the words. Angela must have written them on the other side of the paper after giving me her phone number.

“So you won’t mind if I call this number then?” She started to dial.

“No!” I jumped up and lunged at the phone, missed it, and slipped on the floor. Before I knew it I was lying flat on my butt, with one mighty pissed off girlfriend standing over me. It was like a scene from Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.

“F… you!”

Before I could say another word she was laying into me with fist and foot, screaming. “Get out, you piece of shit!” She started dragging me, then kicking me towards the front door of the apartment. Amanda’s final push saw me flailing into space only to land face forward on the cold, grey concrete floor of the corridor.

“Now f.. off!” The raging hurricane slammed the door shut with a huge bang. I stood up, shaking.

“Sorry.”

I don’t know if she heard me. I doubt it, because it was spoken by the voice of a little boy.

Bright Lights in the Sky

 No, this is not the actual image (I didn't have a camera at the time)

I know some people who have read my books will have heard this story before. But it has never appeared on this blog, so I re-tell it here. Marcus

Some people ask me how I got interested in knowledge that might be considered "alternative" in some circles. Here is a little story about an extraordinary experience that certainly helped me along my way! So here goes my story, and one hundred per cent true.

In 1996 I was living in Coffs Harbour, New South Wales, Australia, a small coastal town. One day I was walking along the street downtown, and I saw a sign which read: "Psychic readings, $10". I had never had a psychic reading up till that time, and curiosity got the better of me. So I went inside and met a woman named Lesley who gave me a "reading." The reading itself was nothing particularly special. But what followed certainly was.

To cut a long story short, I ended up going to one of Lesley's talk/meditation evenings a few weeks later. At the end of the talk she told everyone present that she had had lots of dreams about UFOs the previous night.

"Whenever I have these dreams there are lots of UFO sightings around," she said. "So if you go out tonight you may see something. I feel that about two in the morning would be the right time."

Now, being the gullible fool that I am, I decided to take up the offer. I went to bed at about 11 p.m., but set my alarm for 1.45.

When the alarm rang, I managed to drag myself out of bed. I stumbled around my house for 15 minutes, and then headed outside at 2.00 a.m. sharp.

My eyes almost popped out of my head when I swung the door open and looked up at the sky. For flying right in front of me in the clear night sky was something I had never seen before. I can only describe it as a large ball of luminous white light, about a third the size of a full moon. The thing was probably a few hundred metres in the air, and was floating eastwards at about 90 degrees above the horizon. There was absolutely no sound, and it seemed to be gliding on air. I can only describe it as eerily unearthly. I ran out onto the road, and watched it disappear over the neighbours' houses. In total it was in view about 30 seconds.

"Light" Ch 20: The Mistake

This is Chapter 20 of Marcus T Anthony's online novel Light. To read the rest of the novel, to date, go to http://www.lightmysterious.com/

The Mistake

She was thin, almost gaunt. She looked at me with big eyes, They were a little too hollow to be beautiful. But I could feel them inviting me in, along with the pull of her arms.

“Would you like to dance?”

“Um, yeah, why not?”

Why not? One decent reason might have been because I had a beautiful new girlfriend who was just a couple of suburbs away. But like I said, the beer was talking, not me.

We were at the far end of the dance floor away from the lights, where it was dark. I had to  force myself to keep my eyes wide, because I was having trouble focusing. That was on  account of my drunkenness. It was an effort not to slur my words.

“You’re a good dancer.”

“Me?” Giraffes on roller skates dance better than I do.

She twirled around a few times, and started dancing closer. The strange thing is that she  didn’t smile. She didn’t even look that happy. But I could see something, feel something  within her. She wanted me. And there was something good about that.

“Buy me a drink.” She said. She dragged me over to the bar like a dog on a leash.

The infancy of knowledge

Times are very busy at present, with books, papers, and promotional work to do. I don’t always have time to write an entirely new blog post. So today I thought I’d share with you one of my favourite passages from my book Integrated Intelligence.  This is an academic book about a spiritual intelligence which transcends the brain and extends into non-local space, which is based on my doctoral thesis. However I did write it in such a way that the knowledge contained in it would be readily accessible to most people. I even got in a quote from new age author Stuart Wilde! (my examiners probably didn’t know who he is). The following passage is found in the conclusion of the book, and gives perspective on the way we think of mind and intelligence at this time in human history. Sometimes it is easy to forget that the present in just one unique moment in history, and that the nature of our scientific knowledge defines not so much the boundaries of the cosmos, but the boundaries of our dominant worldview.

***

In this book I have compared and contrasted two different constructs of intelligence (Integrated Intelligence, and mainstream models of intelligence), which emerge from different ways of knowing, and different worldviews. It is appropriate to end with a reference from representatives of both schools. Contemporary mystic Stuart Wilde writes:

An energy shift that’s prevalent in the world today sees one group of people moving gradually from ego towards spirit, through the realignment of their consciousness, while anther group is threatened by changing circumstances and moves increasingly in the opposite direction, toward the ego, seeking greater manipulation, guarantee, and control over human affairs (Wilde, Whispering Winds of Change).

The Intuitive Review: LeShan's "Paranormal"

Lawrence LeShan’s A New Science of the Paranormal is a very readable and excellent tome, which seeks to address the way forward for research into the paranormal and fringe areas of consciousness research. Lawrence LeShan is a veteran researcher in the field, and at just 125 pages, this book makes for a quick, enjoyable and thought-provoking read.

As with my other intuitive reviews, I will take a look at not only the explicit knowledge detailed in the book, but I will also add my intuitive insights into the writer, and the way his psyche has helped shape the book. I am a spiritual counselor, so in this process I apply a similar process to that which I apply when counseling people: I intuitively glean information from the psyche – in this case that of the writer. It shouldn’t surprise you then, that I am a “proponent” in the so-called “psi-wars.”

In A New Science LeShan argues passionately for the argument that the paranormal is crucial to understanding our place in the cosmos.  Contemporary science and philosophy have created an extreme distortion of experience which alienates us from our spiritual roots, and psi experience can help redress that imbalance. I am reminded of Susan Blackmore’s 1996 paper “What can psi teach us about consciousness?” Blackmore concluded that it can teach us nothing, basically because it doesn’t exist, and especially in lieu of her belief that consciousness does not have agency. LeShan’s and Blackmore’s perspectives are diametrically opposite, yet the question is crucial. Let me then be clear. My long experience in working with the intuitive mind leads me to conclude that LeShan is correct. Blackmore’s position, although supported by mainstream establishment thinking in science, is simply wrong. As LeShan states, this is a question of monumental importance, and I believe that A New Science is a little step in the right direction. LeShan calls the quest to understand psi “a terribly important adventure” and “the wild card in our seemingly hopeless attempt to get the human race off the endangered species list.” (p. 18)

LeShan lists four definitive ways “psychical research” can help move us forward. The following outcomes might occur if “the existence of large-scale psi events becomes part of the background assumptions in our culture.” (100)

1.       The idea that we are separate, isolated entities will change.

2.      We will see ourselves both as individuals and as part of something much greater. This is in line with the teachings of many spiritual traditions.

3.      As a result of the first two points, the way we behave towards each other and the planet will change.

4.      These changes will be of a significant scale, such that they will help the human race survive its current critical evolutionary impasse. (p. 101)

These are all positive outcomes which I concur can happen. However... (click below to read more)