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Friday, May 7, 2010

An Extraordinary Woman, an Extraordinary Time

In recent posts I have written about a most remarkable woman I once knew, whom I refer to as Jessica (not her real name). In fact, of all the many extraordinary people I’ve met in my life, she is one of the two most remarkable, the other being mystic Leonard Jacobson.

I didn’t spend a lot of time with Leonard, but I did have numerous dealings with Jessica over a period of two years, and in that time I got to know a great deal bout her. Jessica is the inspiration for the theory of Integrated Intelligence (which is the subject of much of my research) because she embodied that intelligence more than any other person I have ever encountered. 

So, please allow me to backtrack a little...

It was not until I had turned 30 that I was met a group of extraordinary people who would fully embody the idea of Integrated Intelligence.
That was when I moved to New Zealand. I had been meeting with the ....... branch of the Spiritual Group for several months before I met Jessica, who lived far to the north  in ……. The morning I was to meet her (she was coming to visit our branch), I had a most disturbing image come into my mind while I was meditating. As I sat in silence, eyes closed, I suddenly experienced myself looking down, and ‘saw’ that my hands were covered in blood. It was a brief but graphic and horrifying vision. It disturbed me somewhat. What could such an image mean? I knew that it was a profound message in it, but possibly something I'd prefer not to know.

Later that day I went to meet with my Spiritual Group. Those of us who had never met Jessica were full of anticipation, but more than a little fear. For we knew that she was a woman of astute spiritual perception; and the entire process which underpinned the group was to permit the surfacing of the shadow side of the psyche. This was often a profoundly confronting experience, and required a degree of honesty and commitment to the truth that is difficult to appreciate. It was like being stripped bare before one’s peers. We all knew that there would be no keeping of personal secrets from Jessica that day.

I didn’t quite know what to expect, but when Jessica entered the room, I saw a tall, thin woman of middle age, who carried herself with an air of personal mastery, yet was gentle and child-like. After a while we all sat down on the wooden floor, and she introduced herself to everyone in the circle of about twenty people, one by one, sharing her intuitive feelings about each of us as she spoke. When she got round to me (I was sitting directly opposite her) she didn't even say hello. She just said, "I can see blood on your hands". I was shocked, recalling the powerful meditation image from earlier that day. She said she’d speak to me later about what it meant.

During a break, she came up to me told me what the blood represented. I was told that it related to a personal ‘issue’ of mine (not literal blood, before the police are informed!).

Though this story appears in the Personal Prelude of my PhD thesis, and my book Integrated Intelligence, I didn’t write what Jessica told me, because in academic work there are some things which are taboo! As she spoke to me, Jessica looked at me, closed her eyes, then began to make quick movements with one hand, passing it across the other, employing a particular intuitive measurement system – what I call the Quick Check in Sage of Synchronicity.

“This blood represents the shame passed down from your great, great, great great, great grandfather on your father’s side of the family. He contracted syphilis, and the shame of it left a deep scar on his psyche.”

The psychic energy of that event was then passed down through several generations of the family, till it reached me. After we had discussed this for some time, Jessica’s entire demeanor shifted abruptly. Her face became light, and she insisted that we dance and celebrate the consciousness that we had received; because for Jessica, truth was freedom. The sudden shift was a little disconcerting, but I soon realised not to expect the ‘normal’ wfrom her.

That was a life-changing reading. I had always had major issues related to the expression of sexuality, and using Jessica’s guidance, I was able to begin to work through part of that (there are also multiple issues passed down through my mother’s side of the family).

Jessica was the originator of the Spiritual Group (not the actual name). She had begun to develop it about six years before I arrived on the scene, they already had a core team of committed spiritual seekers, and a well developed process in hand. I can’t divulge too much here, but the purpose of the group was to help people assume responsibility for the lost parts of themselves, to heal their inner child and to begin to express their true power as human beings. Most people are controlled by their unconsciousness, and the dark (dense) consciousness fields which operate through them as a result of that unawareness. In this sense, “enlightenment” becomes the bringing to awareness of the shadow, and how these energy fields manipulate us through them.

The Spiritual Group was thus no New Age ‘Love ’n Light’ Centre, it was a hard-core gathering of people who were deeply committed to spiritual development. The programme was extremely confronting and demanding, and many people only lasted a short time before they left, or were asked to leave. People were regularly given “time out” from the group when they reached a point where they could no longer process the information that they were being shown. This usually happened when they were exposed to the workings of their shadow, and their ego rejected what they were shown.

I was no exception, and had several periods out of the group when this happened to me. These were extremely difficult times, because the individual had to go away and use the tools to work on the energy that they were failing to assume responsibility for. What was not owned, got projected onto other group members. This became a huge problem, because the group was working with consciousness at such a deep level, that it was constantly being subjected to psychic attacks from negative influences. When people failed to assume responsibility for their shadow, the dark energy used them as a channel to attack other group members. If this sounds scary in theory, I can assure you that it is a hundred times worse in reality!

Needless to say, this all required a level of perception far beyond what most human beings on the planet are capable of at this time in our psycho-spiritual evolution. Yet the necessary clairvoyant and energy-reading skills can be learned, if one is willing to commit heart and soul to the process. The truth is, though, that it really did take an almost inhuman degree of self-discipline. In my case, I sometimes devoted up to eight hours a day doing the energy work, in my own time.

Jessica had cognitive skills that were simply out of this world. She could look at a person and discern whether they had an allergy or a physical problem, for example. She also knew immediately whether someone had a genuine intention to actually do the work required to participate in the group, regardless of what the person actually said, or believed themselves. And she did not need to be in the vicinity of a person to be able to read their energy. She quite literally could check up on anybody, anywhere, regardless of location.

At one time I was trying to work through a particular sticking point, and I was asked to deal with some dark energy that was emerging from my psyche. I went away and worked on it for a few weeks. However it proved to be immensely difficult, and beyond what I was able to handle at that time. I became desperately frustrated, as I began to realise that I just wasn’t able to deal with what was happening. One day, after having done eight hours of grueling self-work, I reached boiling point. I was full of blame and anger, and all I wanted to do was scream hate and rage at the world. That night I went to bed and had a vision. I was looking down into a black, tornado-like vortex of energy. At the bottom of the vortex a single flag was draped over the ground – the red, black and white flag of Nazi Germany. Then a somber male voice said, “Master of Destruction.” At a psychic level, I had assumed the energy of a Nazi. I was possessed by the darkness.

That vision was all I needed to know to realise that I was really channeling some frighteningly dark energy. I got up the next day feeling hopeless, and sure enough at about 9 a.m. the phone rang. I walked over and picked up the receiver with a heavy heart, knowing what was coming next. Sure enough it was Jessica. She said that she had been "observing" me and that I had become a channel for dark energy, and this was severely affecting other group members. I would have to sit out indefinitely. This was a devastating failure for me, but one I had to expression. It was a test of spirit.

Though this may sound indifferent or cruel in a sense, these were the requirements of participation in consciousness evolution at that level. The bar was set, and you had to jump that high, or get off. (I did eventually manage to work through that issue, though, and returned to the group some months later).

Jessica wasn’t the only amazing person in the Spiritual Group. There were plenty of others, and all expressed their extraordinary abilities in different ways. Yet all of us were very human. There were times when people got things wrong, even Jessica. With the kind of confrontational work we did, buttons got pressed on a regular basis, so there was no shortage of issues to work through. I didn’t always agree with everything that went on. If I had run the group, I would have changed things a little, and made the process less confrontational. No doubt Jessica would have changed a few things too. But we are all wise in hindsight. With a slightly more gentle approach, we probably could have reduced the kinds of problems witnessed with the woman Lilly (whom I wrote about in the previous post). Lilly didn’t get it, and became a destroyer. Then again, that was her choice. I could have become a destroyer, but chose to do the work required to work through the problem.

Yet it is clear to me at this point, over a decade after Jessica disbanded the group and left New Zeland, that nothing can destroy the spiritual transformation that so many of us experienced there. We were witness to things that are yet to appear on the dominant map of reality of the modern western world. And what a gift that was!

Perhaps the greatest gift that Jessica gave us was that many of the skills  she possessed were passed on to those who worked with her, including me. I make no claim to be able to do all the things that she could at the same level, but I certainly learned to do many of them, and these abilities now express themselves through my particular cognitive aptitudes. Everyone is different.

For a decade I didn’t dare teach these skills. To be honest, I was scared of them, because they do carry great power, and they can be abused. But I am now at a stage where I believe that it is right to begin to teach – but only with those who are prepared to do the work, and commit to spiritual evolution at a high enough level. The book Sage of Synchronicity has been the first step.



  1. Thanks for sharing that, Marcus. I think most of us (I include myself) are complete novices regarding these issues, and can't tell the difference between negativity originating from within ourselves and channeled in from outside (whether family or other forms of energy that are swirling around).

    We really do need tools and guidance in this area - so many people are running around "possessed" for some of the time at least by forces of which they have no inkling.

  2. This is a fascinating post, Marcus. In some ways, the process reminds me of what I've read about EST in its earliest days at the Esalen Institute. No question that the dark energy of our shadow side can be immensely destructive.

  3. Simon,

    You are right, but the world is very difficult, and most people just aren't up for the task. However, it may be that quite a few people can be permitted to see just a little of this, such that it wouldn't frighten them too much.

    The downside though, is becoming too focused on the darkness, which, paradoxically, can ensnare you in it.

    I am developing a workshop called "Champion of the Soul", which will deal, at least in part, with the shadow. You can see a bit about this on


  4. Rob (or Trish?)

    I'm not sure about the EST as a comparison (don't know too much about it), but yes, the shadow can certainly wreak havoc, and by definition, the destruction is typically unconscious.

  5. That was Trish. Rob and I should start signing our names!
    - Trish